I don't know how to start this.

I don't know where I am. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how my choices now are going to affect me in the future. And I don't know what's going to happen. I can't tell if I just screwed up horribly or if this is just a stepping stone in my life. I have a terrible sense of direction. The one thing I know is that I love you. You're not the only one I've loved and you won't be the last but I care about you as much as my messed up mind will let me. I haven't made the right choices and if I tried to explain why I couldn't because it's just silly. I probably am crazy. I atleast know I'm a little different. I'm not because I did what I did. That's not uncommon. But I'm just an emotionally messed up person in general and I'm not quite sure why because everything in my life is how it feels it should be. Well, that's because I'm alive. So maybe I do know why. I could point out the specific reasons and explain to you why they're reasons but not personally understand why they're reasons until I get past detachment. Thinking of all the memories and knowing there won't be anymore hurts but I hope you find someone that makes you happy and treats you right. Even if nobody reads this I'm content because I feel there's been some personal closure just getting it off my mind. I'm sorry I can't text you back right now but I don't know what to say and it just plain hurts.