A lot has seemed to be resolved..

..since I had this talk with my Grandmom. It made me realize I was overthinking things to the point where it was harmful to me. I was becoming conceited and deadset on my answers to life. I really think the only thing you can do is make it through the day. Philosophy is a wonder to me. I can't help but think about it but I won't let it be an answer to me anymore because that's when it starts becoming my downfall. It's a part of growing up. Learning how to handle the responsibility. Maybe that's part of mine and I'm thankful for all of it. I love the simple things in life and I think I should keep it that way. Just be happy with what I have and be the best person I can be. My Grandmom also believes in God and from some recent experiences I've started to believe to. So she's told me told make it through the day and pray at night and then the morning. Honestly, it helps a lot. I do it when I'm having a rough time. And I know when He's talking to me too. Last night my mom and I weren't getting along so well because she was really stressed out about the kittens and it's very complicated but I started to feel as hopeless as I used to when I lived in my Mom's house. So I was really upset and I walked up to the playground because I didn't want her to see me crying and I tried to find somebody to talk to but I couldn't. I can't talk to Brittany about things. I couldn't call my family because I didn't want them to think differently of my mom, not that they would but there's still that feeling. I feel sort of weird talking about this because I usually keep it in my head and usually when people talk about religious stuff I used to think it was crap. But I prayed. And this light came on against a shed in front of me and everytime I said something or asked something the wind blew stronger. I knew we were talking. Finally I said thanks and it was random but my mom called and she came up to get the mail and she sat down next to me and apologized and then I noticed the light that was shining on the shed went out. Everything seemed to be okay after that. I guess everything does happen for a reason. I'm not being gullible but this was too ironic to doubt.